You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
