like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
