You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
