My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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