Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
as a side note pls kill me
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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