maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
