sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
