just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
