I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
