we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
