hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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