the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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