Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
