I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The feeling are messing with the penis
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
