You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
