But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
