I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
