I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Let's get the cat blown out
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
