I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
