question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
