She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
