When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
