she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
