WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
