Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
