I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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