Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
