It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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