there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
