"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
