Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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