meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
