Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
