My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
as a side note pls kill me
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