so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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