Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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