There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
