i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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