Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm getting married
To pizza
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
