so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Your dad touched me again.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
