We're like a lot better than the average bears
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
3pm strippers are depressing
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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