I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize