We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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