I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
