i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
