Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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