i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
