We named our party play list daddy issues
im six kinds of drunk right now
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
