You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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