Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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